The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind This Site enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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