The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be Clicking Here great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance find your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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